Post by FFAxPostal on Feb 19, 2010 19:27:59 GMT -5
Let me tell you kids a story. This story is full of lessons.
Once upon a time I maimed a small child.
Okay, that’s not the entire truth of it. I inadvertently maimed a small child is more like it. And really it’s more like I set off an explosion that inadvertently maimed a small child because his dad was a dumbass.
It was December, I think, 2004 in Ar Ramadi Iraq. I was a combat Engineer in the United States Army. Normally what we do is look around for weapons caches: Stuff that is just hidden underground by the insurgents for later use. Normally Explosive Ordinance Disposal deals with the live bombs and stuff. Live IEDs (Improvised explosive devices.) But it just so happened while we were in Ar Ramadi working with the 1/503rd, EOD was supposed to be on call. This means that we just had to call up over the radio and they should have been there in 15-20 minutes tops.
Last time we called EOD they took 3 hours. We sat out in the open for three hours while some schmucks putzed around taking their sweet time getting to us.
So this mean that we combat engineers, being the next most knowledgeable about explosives and explosive devices, were being called up to deal with this stuff.
So any way, myself and my team leader, D. R. Sausage, were on a patrol with the infantry. We just had rounded a corner when an infantry man ran back round and looked all freaked out. He told us there was an IED ahead.
And here is lesson number one. Don’t ever get sloppy seconds. And, don’t ever eat out the sloppy seconds. This is known as the “sloppiest of seconds” and will earn you the nickname of “D. R. Sausage.”
The infantry went around and got in the buildings nearby, and Sausage and I sauntered up to the bomb carelessly. Some of you probably think diffusing bombs is pretty stressful. You always see in the movies some guy with a fancy pair of wire cutters sweating as he clips specifically color coded wires.
This brings us to lesson number two in this story. When you’re diffusing a roadside bomb that is 3 artillery shells, all you have to do is clip the detonation cord leading into the fuse wells. You’re probably asking, “But Postal, how will I know which one is the detonation cord?” I’m glad you asked.
It’ll be green and fat if it were made in America, and pink and fat if it were made in Russia. It also has powder on the inside of it. Cut this cord and the problem is solved. Oh and don’t cut electrical wires unless you have to.
So at any rate we diffused it without any effort really. Then came the next step. We had to detonate it somewhere safe. If we had vehicles with us on this patrol we would have just loaded it up and detonated it in the middle of the desert or something. But because we were on foot, it means we had to blow it in place. So I selected a spot not to far of the road in a lower lying ditch area, where the explosion wouldn’t do much collateral damage. We then sent some infantry down the road to stop the vehicle traffic.
So Sausage and I rigged up the IED to blow, and set a time fuse on it. We clipped it shorter, to around two minutes or so. We pulled the igniters and watched the fuse burn for a bit. We really were pretty comfortable around bombs. As soon as we had pulled it the infantry all went running for cover. Sausage and I stared at it for a bit. Said a joke or two, and then sauntered off to a nearby building.
I placed my back to the wall, and settled down waiting for the boom to come.
Lesson three: Explosions are fun. If you ever get the chance to blow anything up, do it. Feeling that compression that hits your chest and watching the air ripple around you is pretty amazing. Movies don’t do this kind of thing justice. You don’t just get to see explosions, you want to feel them. That’s where its at. Raw force released at an unbelievable speed.
So the explosion went off and we celebrated and then continued on our patrol
Elsewhere, about five minutes later, our platoon sergeant came upon a dad hurrying his son home. His kid was holding his hand. Upon closer inspection by the medic they saw that the kid was missing his ring finger and pinky on his left hand.
I saw a video later of what we blew up. Apparently one of the infantry guys had a camera with him and recorded it. Right as the explosion went off a car drove by.
Apparently the infantry saw this car coming. They put up their hands for it to stop. Inside was a dad and his little kid. The guy still didn’t stop. The pointed their rifles at the guy and he still didn’t stop, when he blew by them they were like “oh well, his own dumb fault.” It just so happened that right as he drove by the explosion went off.
This brings us to lesson number four: if a guy with a rifle tells you to stop, do so.
So anyway, the kid lost half his hand.
So this story has two morals, both of which you can apply to life, and TA. Moral number one: don’t be a dumbass. Moral number two, if you’re dad is a Dumbass, get the hell out of the car.
Once upon a time I maimed a small child.
Okay, that’s not the entire truth of it. I inadvertently maimed a small child is more like it. And really it’s more like I set off an explosion that inadvertently maimed a small child because his dad was a dumbass.
It was December, I think, 2004 in Ar Ramadi Iraq. I was a combat Engineer in the United States Army. Normally what we do is look around for weapons caches: Stuff that is just hidden underground by the insurgents for later use. Normally Explosive Ordinance Disposal deals with the live bombs and stuff. Live IEDs (Improvised explosive devices.) But it just so happened while we were in Ar Ramadi working with the 1/503rd, EOD was supposed to be on call. This means that we just had to call up over the radio and they should have been there in 15-20 minutes tops.
Last time we called EOD they took 3 hours. We sat out in the open for three hours while some schmucks putzed around taking their sweet time getting to us.
So this mean that we combat engineers, being the next most knowledgeable about explosives and explosive devices, were being called up to deal with this stuff.
So any way, myself and my team leader, D. R. Sausage, were on a patrol with the infantry. We just had rounded a corner when an infantry man ran back round and looked all freaked out. He told us there was an IED ahead.
And here is lesson number one. Don’t ever get sloppy seconds. And, don’t ever eat out the sloppy seconds. This is known as the “sloppiest of seconds” and will earn you the nickname of “D. R. Sausage.”
The infantry went around and got in the buildings nearby, and Sausage and I sauntered up to the bomb carelessly. Some of you probably think diffusing bombs is pretty stressful. You always see in the movies some guy with a fancy pair of wire cutters sweating as he clips specifically color coded wires.
This brings us to lesson number two in this story. When you’re diffusing a roadside bomb that is 3 artillery shells, all you have to do is clip the detonation cord leading into the fuse wells. You’re probably asking, “But Postal, how will I know which one is the detonation cord?” I’m glad you asked.
It’ll be green and fat if it were made in America, and pink and fat if it were made in Russia. It also has powder on the inside of it. Cut this cord and the problem is solved. Oh and don’t cut electrical wires unless you have to.
So at any rate we diffused it without any effort really. Then came the next step. We had to detonate it somewhere safe. If we had vehicles with us on this patrol we would have just loaded it up and detonated it in the middle of the desert or something. But because we were on foot, it means we had to blow it in place. So I selected a spot not to far of the road in a lower lying ditch area, where the explosion wouldn’t do much collateral damage. We then sent some infantry down the road to stop the vehicle traffic.
So Sausage and I rigged up the IED to blow, and set a time fuse on it. We clipped it shorter, to around two minutes or so. We pulled the igniters and watched the fuse burn for a bit. We really were pretty comfortable around bombs. As soon as we had pulled it the infantry all went running for cover. Sausage and I stared at it for a bit. Said a joke or two, and then sauntered off to a nearby building.
I placed my back to the wall, and settled down waiting for the boom to come.
Lesson three: Explosions are fun. If you ever get the chance to blow anything up, do it. Feeling that compression that hits your chest and watching the air ripple around you is pretty amazing. Movies don’t do this kind of thing justice. You don’t just get to see explosions, you want to feel them. That’s where its at. Raw force released at an unbelievable speed.
So the explosion went off and we celebrated and then continued on our patrol
Elsewhere, about five minutes later, our platoon sergeant came upon a dad hurrying his son home. His kid was holding his hand. Upon closer inspection by the medic they saw that the kid was missing his ring finger and pinky on his left hand.
I saw a video later of what we blew up. Apparently one of the infantry guys had a camera with him and recorded it. Right as the explosion went off a car drove by.
Apparently the infantry saw this car coming. They put up their hands for it to stop. Inside was a dad and his little kid. The guy still didn’t stop. The pointed their rifles at the guy and he still didn’t stop, when he blew by them they were like “oh well, his own dumb fault.” It just so happened that right as he drove by the explosion went off.
This brings us to lesson number four: if a guy with a rifle tells you to stop, do so.
So anyway, the kid lost half his hand.
So this story has two morals, both of which you can apply to life, and TA. Moral number one: don’t be a dumbass. Moral number two, if you’re dad is a Dumbass, get the hell out of the car.